The Egalitariate

Oscar considered his Hummer to be his inner sanctum. It was there he felt most in touch with the mysterious essence of his being. Every man must have a private sanctum, he thought. If they don't, they should get one.

He had had the windows tinted. All of them, even the front two and windshield were like a cop's sunglasses. He had to pay a fine of $250 in order to tint the front ones and the windshield, but he hardly cared. That was the price of two tanks of gas.

He took advantage of his privacy at this point to use his cell phone the way God intended: held to the ear and without fear of being pulled over.

"You got the job?" he said. "Terrific! Where? - Hold on." He was speaking with his soon-to-be-fiance, Nancy. He let the phone drop from his hand so he could grip the large steering wheel with both hands as his giant tires turned a stray dog into a squirt of jelly.

"Where? Seylene's?" He didn't know or recognize the place of business. "Of course, fantastic."

He planned to ask for her hand in marriage that very night at Terhune Orchard. Amidst the sleeping flocks of geese and millions of flashing green fireflies, he would kneel down and present his $30,000 diamond ring. It was the most beautiful thing he could think of.

He said goodbye and fell to rehearsing a small speech he had prepared for the event. "I want an egalitarian marriage. That's the plan here. The goal. Perfect equality between me and you. Husband and wife splitting - no sharing - everything, right down the middle. That includes income, childcare, everything." This speech always made him excited. How could she say no, he wondered. It was a sure thing.

Later that night, he found himself at the restaurant Pad Thai, instead of Terhune Orchard, as he had expected. The little ring box pressed relentlessly against his leg under the table.

"Thanks for coming here," said Nancy. She wore plastic flip flops from two years ago.

He adjusted his chair. "No problem."

"You're upset."

"Seylene's is a lingerie shop? You're selling lingerie?"

"Bras." She changed the way she was sitting in her seat before continuing. "It's very important for a woman to have a bra that fits. If she looks better, she feels better - what?"

He used the cloth napkin to wipe the dry corner of his mouth. "Nothing." He didn't like the fact that she was wearing the tight shorts that said Abercrombie and Fitch across her ass. He wondered if that's what she wore to work.

"I'm helping women to feel better. Besides, it's a lot more money. I can make, like, what I used to make in a day, in like, four hours!"

The waiter filled their glasses with ice water. Oscar raised his hand for attention. "Leave the pitcher, please." He turned back to Nancy. "You're promoting a feminine ideal."

"No I'm not!"

"Whatever." The light came through the leaves and the glass of the window so that they were part shadowed and part illuminated. The sun struck the window in such a way that nobody could see them from outside. The place was not very full. Not many people knew about Pad Thai, even though it was right there on Nassau Street.

"Have you ever heard the story of the overflowing tea?"

"No." The waiter had not brought them anything to much on. Nothing to whet their appetite. She pinched the hem of her shorts and tugged, straightening them down her legs.

He picked up the glass pitcher. "There's this student and a wise man. The student starts asking him all these questions but the wise man just sits there. Doesn't say a thing."

She looked at the pitcher. The sweat trickled down his knuckles and a drop hung from the bottom one. A prism.

"Finally the student says, 'Can you hear me?' and he says, 'Pour me some tea.'" He held the ring box tight in his pocket, through the fabric of his pants. "So she starts pouring," and he threaded the water from the pitcher to top off her already full glass, which quickly overfilled.

"What are you doing?"

"Soon the tea started to spill onto the table and onto the floor."

She looked around to see if people were staring. Nobody noticed. The water crept into her lap, soaked beneath her underwear. "Stop it, please!" She squirmed a little and sounded scared. "I don't...."

"And soon there was no more tea and the student asked, 'What's your point?' and the wise man said, 'When the cup is full, it cannot hold more. So it is with you. First you must empty yourself before you can receive knowledge.'"

She scooted away from the table.

"Now you're upset, babe. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I...." She took off her thick green sweater and laid it across her lap. "I don't feel well."

"Well that's just fine." He let go of the ring box and it remained slightly ajar. The hinge was slightly damaged.

"I'm sorry, I've been feeling bad all day. It must be my period."

"No, it's not your fault, hun. I'll make you something at home." They stood up and she tied her sweatshirt around her waist, hiding the wet spot.

The waiter approached them with his hands together. "You're leaving? Is everything okay?"

Oscar bit his lip and looked at Nancy's sweater. "Everything's fine. We're not feeling well is all." The waiter looked also.

They walked down the street and came to her car first. It was a Honda Civic. "I'll drive you to your car," she said.

"Thanks."

The seat was too far forward so he reached down to adjust it.

"It's broken," she said.

He spread his legs as wide as the car would allow and pushed himself into the seat. "Do you really need to go home? or can I show you something?" There was still time to make it to Terhune.

"I guess."

"I want to take you somewhere special tonight." The sun was below the buildings. It shined into their eyes as they came near the Municipal Parking Garage. "Pull over here. Wait for me."

He came out driving his Hummer and pulled up behind her, slowly. She was on the phone and didn't notice him there so he kept inching closer until he tapped the trunk with his bumper. This startled her and she pulled her phone away as if it had become a wasp. She put her car into gear and waited for him to back up. He laughed even though he didn't want to. He bit his lip, but laughed more.

He didn't move because she could easily pull into traffic by turning sharp and moving ahead. By now he had forgotten about Terhune.

She put her car back into park and got out. She walked slowly to his door and waited to be acknowledged. She had to look up and he knew she could not see him. He smiled and waited. She could not see the dog's blood on the passenger side fender, either.

She tapped the glass and he continued to smile. Then he put the phone to his ear and let the window down. He looked at her.

She didn't want to embarrass him so she made it sound like a joke. "You boxed me in, you dope."

He made his eyes big, like he was embarrassed and fumbled to put his vehicle into reverse while maintaining the phone on his cheek. He blocked his mouth from the receiver and whispered, "Sorry."